I’m sitting across from a topaz colored ocean in Pacific Grove, California. Seagulls are not only flying overhead, there’s one staring directly at me from the balcony just outside my window. I have decided his name is Henry. No offense to any Henry who happens to be reading this. The fact that I’m here is pretty wonderful considering that this trip came as a gift, unexpectedly and in perfect timing. Writing this blog feels good as it’s coming from the heart of this current demonstration of Love’s Deepest Asking.

You see, last week back in Boulder, I had worked myself in to frenzy, a habit of mine. I do my best to keep my eye on this behavior however it is a well exercised muscle. The “workaholic” in me takes over more often than I’d like to admit. In the midst of my frenzy, I did manage to meditate each morning. One of those mornings my Guidance gently invited me to be with this question: “Are you following love’s deepest asking in your life right now?” I was stopped from my momentum of “doing” by the question. I just stopped. I wondered at how I can move so quickly from deep rooted presence and gentle unfolding to wildly going at it in creating my passionate life. It’s like being on a cosmic caffeine drip and not even recognizing I’m plugged in again, until I notice that I am.

My dearest friend of 18 years gave me the “warning” phone call before leaving on her vacation. She noticed my habit. She wanted to alert me to the fact that I was going at lightning speed “again.” My urge to rip her throat out was a clue to the amount of stress I was running. I don’t think I can chalk this one off to peri-menopause.

So, to the point: after 25 years of helping to guide hundreds of people to living their dreams, I’m still learning how to navigate my own with greater gentleness. It’s not so much the manifesting part that is the difficulty; it’s handling the energy that comes with it.

I know there are people like me, who are empathic and energy sensitive. Some of us have a more wired nervous system and need to be mindful of creating calming, soothing energy. As much as I’ve taught this to others, I need continued reminders for myself. I thought I’d offer this writing as a gentle reminder to those who recognize themselves here.

When Guidance asked me that question in meditation it was a sobering moment. Love’s deepest asking was  about being in warp speed while having my desires materialize. That was my personality at play. When I felt in to the question what I experienced was a welcoming embrace, a place to rest and an invitation in to depth and stillness. Sitting in this, I saw an image of being at the ocean, being lulled by the waves and settling in. This sense and image came for a few days and it felt really good. I took it as a metaphor.

On the third day of sensing the ocean, a friend called with an invitation to join in on a last minute vacation to the coast. This happened to fall into a series of days where I had no business meetings, rehearsals or significant plans. I was “yes!”

Writing this blog now, I am appreciating the ocean and the opportunity of this manifestation. I understand that even as I’m creating the “bigger picture” of my dreams, that the Universe may also have more “in the moment” gifts to offer. I get, once again, that living my dreams are not just for future unfolding…there is the richness of now too. And then there’s Henry, still staring at me through the window…..